A quick update on the remaining ideas: the bike has been bought and chaining will occur imminently, Joel has returned from the field he’s been living in for 3 months and is ready to make a parking offender’s day, Amy has made her ‘hammer time’ stickers, and the mysterious Cerne Abbas has finally determined how I am to get the money to him to fund his sinister purposes:
Hello Peter,
I have been mulling over my options and have settled on how i would like to go about this. I am most tickled by the plan.
However, remaining anonymous is essential to the operation and giving you my bank details, address to send a cheque or inviting you around for tea would very much compromise the situation. So, I suggest we involve ourselves in a bit of cloak and dagger.
What says you to a trip to trendy Shoreditch? Judging by your photos on the internet you would like that side of town. If you could be so kind as to place the £50 in an envelope before your trip. Put the envelope in one of those polystyrene chip boxes you get from a kebab shop and then that in plastic bag.
This bag should be deposited in the XXX at Xpm next XXX. Once I have seen you return safely to Old Street and off on your merry way, I shall then collect. Don’t worry about the local thugs, I will scare them off before you arrive.
Please let me know if this suits you, if not, be as kind as to let me know when a good time would be.
Excitedly,
Cerne
I’m both scared and excited…and to be honest not knowing any more about Mr Abbas suits me just fine. Good luck sir!









