This is where the talking stops! And the er, dangering begins.

The first set of ideas have been picked by the haughty egotists we call the Selectors and small amounts of cash are winging their way to each of the lucky recipients as I type.

The ideas A-Team are:

‘I want to stick ‘HAMMER TIME’ stickers on STOP signs’

‘I want to lock a cheap bicycle to a prissy Bikes left here will be removed sign with the heaviest duty chains I can find’

‘I want to give away lots of flowers to strangers’

‘I want to draw a large male member around the Daily Mail offices’

I want to anonymously refund someone’s parking fine’

Hooray! Well done troops. What happens next? They each carry out their schemes, film and photograph all the action, and then I post it up here for you to see!

And in the meantime everyone else : keep sending in those ideas.

Time for some suitably rousing music…

PS: thanks to Mark O’Neill for the donation!

The Danger Fund has been in business for a little over a month. And it’s going pretty darned well I’d say. We’ve received schemes for MC Hammer-related tomfoolery, big penis mischief and troublemaking through the medium of bike security, plus many more. Danke for all of your ideas large and small; the response has been such that we’re going to do an early round of funding to get a few going now. Largely because I can’t wait to (possibly) see a huge cock drawn around the Daily Mail offices.

So it’s probably a good time to give you an update on money, and prove that this is not an elaborate (and rather idiotic) money-making scam. Here is the state of the Danger Fund account:

Total assets: £196.97

Donations to PayPal:

Peter Hames —> £1 (to test it)

Matthew Knight —> £50

Ben Harris —> £50

PayPal charges —> -£4.03 (£4.03!)

Total cash on PayPal —> £96.97

Cheques:

Peter Hames —> £50

Michael-George Hemus —> £50

Total cash in the bank —> £100.00

Matthew, MGH and Ben - big kisses all round.

So if I top it up to £200 we can do four ideas. I will be imminently sending all of the ideas so far to our Selectors and getting them to do what they do best, select.

Let the danger commence!

Barely a day after the launch of the fund and we’d received both our first idea and our first £50 donation.

Both were from the same person. Giving your money away and then trying to win it back again - exactly the sort of needlessly dangerous behaviour that we like!

So thank you Matthew for getting the ball rolling. Good luck.

Here’s his idea…

“so, the idea is all up at http://disposablememoryproject.org but in a nutshell - we buy a load of disposable cameras, and leave them around london - in a plastic bag with some basic instructions. the instructions will ask the finder of the camera to take some photos, and pass it on to someone else (or leave somewhere to be found). if you finish the camera - we ask you to send it back to us, and we’ll develop it, and upload the photos. anyone who finds the camera can also visit the website, and say where they found it, so we can track its movements. hopefully, we’ll get some (probably not all) of the cameras back, and they’ll show a visual representation of their journeys. the money would go towards buying the first set of cameras (£2.50 a camera) and developing the cameras (about £6 i think).”

Lovely stuff…

It has happened. We have launched the £50 Quid Danger Fund. We’ve even got our own bank account.

But where does a Dangerous Fund place its assets? The most dangerous bank in Britain of course!

So with that in mind I called Northern Rock, reasoning that they could probably do with the money.

But instead of the outpouring of gratitude that I was expecting, I was told in no uncertain terms that my business would not be welcome at the Rock. Why? I like to think that it’s because we’re too dangerous for even the most dangerous bank in Britain. But the truth is that they don’t have a suitable low deposit community account for unregistered not-for-profit organisations. That doesn’t sound quite as rock and roll so make sure you tell all your friends it’s because we’re too dangerous.

Anyway, I’ve ended up opening an account with the Alliance & Leicester, much more accommodating and boring as hell. But then I guess your bank is one thing in life that you don’t want any surprises from.

Current balance: £0.00

Help revise that figure upwards by donating here.